Bond needs rehab, but stops cronies from getting Bolivia's water

I just came back from the new bond movie. I really don't know what to think of it. I'm not big on American movies anyways, but I think I liked Casino Royale more.

In Quantum of Solace, Bond (Daniel Craig) can't get over the 21st Bond girl, Vesper (Eva Green). This ultimately leads him to shoot random people and then drink everything off. This also affects M (Judi Dench), who throughout the movie is just paranoid-delusional and schizophrenic. The bad guy, Dominic Greene (Mathieu Almaric) is just ugly and fucked up, so is his Jewish-mommy's-boy cousin, Elvis (with a hairpiece that looks really wrong). The best part, for me, was my sexy compatriot Olga Kurylenko, who plays Camille (the 22nd Bond girl).

What was particulary interesting about the plot, which sometimes takes useless twists, is the similarity with something that actually took place. In the movie, Bond uncovers Greene's plot to control and monopolise Bolivia's water resources.

In the 90's, the World Bank forced Bolivia (as usual, through blackmail and threats to withhold debt relief and aid) to privatise the water resources of its third largest city, Cochabamba. In a miraculous single bid, US corporation Bechtel (who was benevolent enough to donate my university's Engineering building, which is obviously named after it) got the contract: a 40 year lease to completely control the water resources of Cochambaba. That also included rainwater. Water rates, in some cases, went up by 100 to 200 percent. People who lived on less than $100 per month had to pay around 25% of their monthly income just on water.

I don't know if Bechtel actually believed that it could get away with that. In January 2000, there was a four day general strike against the price hikes. Protests continued, until in February the Bolivian government deployed its army, declared a state martial law and banned the protests. This did not stop the people from going out to the street and protesting. The clashes left 175 people injured, two blinded and one killed. In April 2000, the company finally abandoned the project.

Bechtel demanded $50 million from the Bolivian government, but dropped the charges in 2006.

So. Barack won.

I'm blogging from a boring communications class. I feel like such a rebel.

Obama got elected as the Usians' next president. Racism is over. And yes, they could. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy for people who feel happy that Barack will be their next president. But most of them just seem to be taken over by this craze. Time to wake up.



This obviously satirical campaign button is from a post on KABOBfest, they had a great collection of them throughout the campaign.

I don't want to be negative and pessimisstic, but I'm very unsure about Obama. I don't think much would change. His leanings toward Israel are alarming, just hearing is AIPAC speech is enough. And his choice of staff also raises doubts. I guess only time will tell.

Here's a great article by Ishmael Reed on the Usians' Obamamania (also check out Marcy Newman's blog, it's where I got most of my alternative campaign updates from):

Morning in Obamerica: Change, Change, Change?

by Ishmael Reed

"The wolf shall also dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them."

The great American satirist George Schuyler's prescient and comic work, Black No More, is about a scientist named Dr. Crookmore who comes up with a formula that turns blacks to white (I wonder how Schuyler would treat the current profitable back-to-Africa DNA hokum). As a result of a country that is totally white, The Civil Rights organizations go out of business, and even the last hold out, the character, based upon the black nationalist Marcus Garvey, in the end, tries some of Dr. Crookmore's solution. Would something like this happen were Barack Obama to become president? A country where there exists no social divisions and the issue of race has become defused.

The leader of the NAACP says that the work of the organization will continue even with an Obama victory. Why? Wouldn't it be better that the NAACP shut its doors as cable's leading conservative intellectual, Tucker Carlson has suggested? Auction off its assets and join the post race fever? In his "The New Black Aesthetic, " (1989,) author Trey Ellis announced the arrival of a generation of African Americans who would place the issue of race in the background unlike we "curmudgeons" and "cranks, " who came of age in the 1960s and who are still carrying on like those Japanese soldiers who weren't aware that the war was over. "The New Black Intellectuals" were even praised by Robert Boynton in an essay that appeared in the Atlantic Monthly (March, 1995:53-69.)

"Shortly after Obama is sworn in, the police, instead of subjecting blacks and Hispanics to capricious traffic stops, will only stop them to offer free tickets to the policeman's ball."

To many, Martin Luther King's dream has been realized. He said, " I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together." Obviously me and my over sixty pals are still lingering in those crooked places and refusing to process the sunlight that is available to everybody else. (Tavis Smiley is our leader). People like us are going to have to adjust to this post race America which resembles a painting by Edward Hicks. A place where Blacks have reached the Promised Land?

What does this promise land look like? This Obamerica? Shortly after Obama is sworn in, the police, instead of subjecting blacks and Hispanics to capricious traffic stops, will only stop them to offer free tickets to the policeman's ball. Throughout the country, they will address blacks and Hispanics as sir and ma'm. The overcrowding prison problem will end, because all of the blacks and Hispanics who've been sent there as a result of prosecutorial and police misconduct - probably half - will be set free. And all of those police who have murdered unarmed blacks only to be acquitted by all-white juries will be retried. Blacks will have the freedom to shop in department stores without being watched.

In the media, all of the black Hispanic and Native American and Asian American journalists, who, according to the Maynard Institute's media watcher, Richard Prince, are being "shown the door," will be rehired. The progressive media will spend as much time on the torture of black suspects in Chicago, New York and Los Angeles as they do torture at Gitmo. Blacks will be liberated from the crime, entertainment and sports pages exclusively and appear in other sections. More cerebral sections as scientists, engineers, astronomers. Jonathan Klein and other cable producers will stop managing black opinion so that it doesn't alienate its white audience and voices other than those of black correspondents from Rev. Moon's church will be awarded air time. Global warming denier Michelle Bernard will be replaced by Jill Nelson.

"John McWhorter, Ward Connerly and Shelby Steele will admit that they have been tools of the Eugenics movement."

Jesse Jackson will be appointed lead editorial writer for The Wall Street Journal. and Al Sharpton will assume duties at The National Review. Rush Limbaugh will inaugurate a series called "Great African American Inventors." Spike Lee will be invited to run Columbia Pictures and Amy Goodman will take over at NBC. The Newspaper Society of America will apologize for the lynchings and civil disturbances caused by an inflammatory media over the last one hundred or so years. A choked up Rupert Murdoch will read the statement on behalf of his colleagues.

In an emotional press conference, John McWhorter, Ward Connerly and Shelby Steele will admit that they have been tools of the Eugenics movement and donate all of the millions they have received from far right organizations to scholarships for black and Hispanic students. Blacks will have as much access to a good education as those members of Al-Qaeda and Saddam' s government who studied in the United States. This will end the policy of you educate them, we fight them.

Gertrude Himmlefarb and Lynne Cheney will insist that the works by Hispanic, black and Native Americans be added to the cannon. Cornel West will co-host a show with Dr. Phil. The New York Review of Books will end its white only policy and begin to resemble America. Phillip Roth will admit that all of his novels are autobiographical. Several prominent abstract expressionists will confess that they can't draw.

All of the blacks and Hispanics who have been driven out of New York, Oakland, and San Francisco, as a result of the policies of ethnic cleansing, advocated by Jerry Brown, Giuliani and Newsom, will be invited to return. The banks that aimed toxic mortgage loans to blacks and Hispanics, who would have qualified for conventional loans had they been white, will halt the foreclosure process and renegotiate these loans. CEOs on Wall Street will forego bonuses and golden parachutes. Sales conferences will be held at Day's Inn. For rent signs will go up on K street. The American Enterprise Institute will close its doors.

"Obama will call for an end to warfare by air so that these forces will at least look their victims in the eye before murdering them."

The right will stop using worn out phrases like "political correctness," and "victimization" and hire Sean "Puffy" Combs to provide them with some hip language.

An Obama administration will launch the Obama doctrine, which will advocate friendly aggression and soft diplomacy in Africa, Asia, the Middle East and other global spots where American forces are killing people. These trouble spots will be inundated with artists, writers, dancers and musicians, engineers, doctors and people who speak their languages.

American students will be required to lean an Asian and African languageas well as a western one. He will call for an end to warfare by air so that these forces will at least look their victims in the eye before murdering them. No more drones. Missiles. Members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff will address him as Mr, President, both in private and in public. The white house, haunted by the ghosts of the Indian fighters and slave owners and KKK sympathizers like Woodrow Wilson, who once ruled from there, will be demolished and the first family will reside in a St. Louis condo as the country seeks a fresh start. Cindy McCain will sell her wardrobe and donate the proceeds to rebuilding New Orleans' 9th ward. Any one outfit that she wears on a given day would help to rebuild a block. John McCain will acknowledge the black members of his family whom he has snubbed up to now. Obama critic Governor Schwarzenegger will be among the new president's well wishers. He will offer to improve president Obama's physique by sending him some steroids from his private stash. And, by the way, doesn't an effort to put some meat on somebody's bones begin at home?

A big step toward a green America would be to return the land that was stolen from Native Americans. (The southwest will be returned to Mexico).

And as a gesture to this new Era of Good Feeling, George Bush, Condi Rice, Henry Kissinger, Dick Cheney, Judith Miller, Osama Bin Laden and Jonathan Klein will turn themselves in at the Hague.

maverick \ˈmav-rik, ˈma-və-\

Merriam-Webster's online definition for maverick:

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Samuel A. Maverick †1870 American pioneer who did not brand his calves

Date:

1867

1: an unbranded range animal ; especially : a motherless calf
2: an independent individual who does not go along with a group or party

MILF for US VP

So I was talking to a friend of mine today. She's been quite off her feet lately, crushing on none other than beauty-queen-turned-maverick Sarah Palin. She thinks Palin is a total MILF.

She proved that even more so when she drooled all over a photo of the PILF in a red outfit. (below)


I understand that she might have a semblance of a MILF. But the fact that it's ParahSalin just disturbs me.

But, for the sake of diversity, we've got a unique case of a beauty queen who actually does not want world peace.

Hundreds block streets in protest to James Blunt concert

It was a black Monday for Beirut as hundreds of protestors gathered on the streets and blocked them in protest to the James Blunt concert which is scheduled to take place on February 28th.

Burning tires and anti-Blunt slogans like "Blunt is a cunt" and "save our children, ban James Blunt" kept the citizens away from a lot of Beirut's main streets.
Fadi, who could not get to work because of the burning tires told us, "I don't care. I hate James Blunt. I also hate my job."

Janette, an Ashrafieh resident, said, "Yi! I can't believe this. Lots of people like him. I don't like my neighbor Nadia, but I don't burn tires in front of her door. C'est trop!"



One of the masked protestors who refused to reveal his identity said that the protest was "for the sake of all of humanity."
Another protestor, who also wished to remain anonymous, told us that he actually likes James Blunt, "but my friends made me come here. I had to. I didn't want them to think I'm a sissy." One message he had for our readers was to "never give up on your dreams."

Several bonfires took place, the most concentrated on Manara. Protestors burned Blunt's CD's and posters, and played several games including jumping over the fire.

Several flashy police Dodge Chargers were also kidnapped, and the kidnappers said that they will not release them until they have James Blunt, "dead or alive." When asked what if nobody responds to their ransom, one of the kidnappers said that he would settle for "tickets to the next Tiesto event."
The policemen, smoking and listening to loud music, had no idea that they were being kidnapped.

As night engulfs the turbulent city, the situation is still shaky. Beirut's residents, including us, are hoping for the best. Not for Blunt, of course.

The Other Side's guide to becoming a lesbian

After having had several discussions with people and through empirical observation, we offer you a complete beginner's guide to becoming a lesbian:

1. Come up with a cool/ghetto nickname. Let's say your name is Betty. Start telling people to call you Bex. Or Bets. Or BT. Be creative.

2. Change your name on Facebook, whether to protect your identity or just for kicks, use these examples to think of something: Stardust Fantasy, or Estrogenous Delusion, or Sugarhigh Delirium, or Phantasmagorical Orgasmatron, Phallic Renunciation, or maybe Battlestar Galactica.

3. Style tips. Can't help you here. Your fashion should shout out "I'm an emancipated woman!" loud. Note that there is a difference between an emancipated woman and an emo.

4. Embrace certain ideas, theories and discourses. Things like, why is gender so important? What is it for, apart from limiting and labeling us?
Also, engage in intellectual masturbation and discussions that will get you nowhere.

5. Giggle.

6. Watch The L-Word. Watch it alone or plan a marathon. (and always remember, you are gay, but not gay enough to watch Grey's Anatomy.)

7. Giggle.

8. Start sleeping around. We need to get that chart filled up!

9. Revolt against people who tell you who to be and what to do (example: the people writing this), because the personal is political.

I hope this helps.

Stand Up Take Action 2008

The Millenium Declaration signed in 2000 promised to achieve the 8 Millennium Development Goals by 2015. These goals are: eradicate extreme poverty and hunger, achieve universal primary education, promote gender equality and empower women, reduce child mortality, improve maternal health, combat HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases, ensure environmental sustainability and develop a global partnership for development. Eight years later, awareness is more widespread, but we need to work on achieving these goals by 2015.

Half of the world's population lives on less than $2 per day and everyday, 50,000 people die because of extreme poverty. With all the technology that can empower us and is within our reach nowadays, regular people like me and you can work on changing that (you can also work on that if you're irregular or a just a victim of your fame).

This year between October 17 and 19, millions of people will STAND UP and TAKE ACTION against poverty and for moving with the Millennium Development Goals.
STAND UP TAKE ACTION is a global campaign to spread awareness and encourage people to take action and participate in making change happen.
Last year, over 43 million people in more than 100 countries stood up. This year, over 67 million are expected to STAND UP and TAKE ACTION.

The campaign is taking place in Lebanon through the Art of Living foundation. Schools in a lot of regions have been contacted to participate in the event. To see the events taking place in Lebanon, check out www.standagainstpoverty.org (even though last time I checked, it was not yet mapped).
Each one of us can contribute. We have to realize that we live on the same planet.

OK, enough with all the Jeffrey Sachs sappiness.
Point is: you can really make a difference, even in the slightest way.
So Stand Up and Take Action.

Blog Action Day 2008

Yes, that includes pretend-bloggers. On October 15th, thousands of bloggers will be part of Blog Action Day and post about one subject. This year, the subject is poverty. The aim is to bring people from different parts of the world, with different perspectives together and "trigger a global discussion."
Watch the video!

Blog Action Day 2008 Poverty from Blog Action Day on Vimeo.

Otat el Hamra

So I had this project for a media class, and I didn't know what to do. The hype was adding a sound to an "image", then changing the "image" and then the sound. Kinky, I know.

So, being the attention seeking egomaniacal narcissist that I am, I uploaded it on YouTube. I also like the related videos, like for example 'teen girl having sex on campus' or 'Don Giovanni, sung in arabic'.

Dear readers (or viewers?), enjoy.

The Amy Winehouse photo of the month

Thank you N for contributing the Amy Winehouse photo of the month.


Is she still alive, by the way?

My pet peeves

Dear faithful readers,
After receiving lots and lots of complaints about not having posted anything in a long time, I am back again.
After sleepless nights of creative constipation, I've come up with something to keep my readers alive and going.
Readers, it's time for me to open up to you. It's time to talk about my pet peeves.

People pet peeves:

• People who don't wash their hands.
• People who think they are intellectuals, but are not.
• People who don't shut up in class.
• People who turn around and shut other people up in class (bastard).
• People who wear shirts or other clothing articles with the labels sticking out.
• Cab drivers.
• That ventriloquist guy who everybody finds "funny".
• People with politically correct humor.
• Pseudo-leftists. Okay, leftists.
• Rightists.
• People who need to define their political stance. And God forbid, it shouldn't be leftist.
• Corporations (legally speaking, they are considered "people").
• Stupid people and dumb airheads.
• Nietzsche.
• Rude people.
• People who think they know all the secrets of life just cos' they wrote The Alchemist.
• People who work in marketing.
• People who have weird goodbyes.
• People, who like, do like bad stuff like drugs and like have sex like dressed in like sutffed animal costumes. Like, I don't know.
• People who say 'like' every other syllable.
• People who love peer reviewing other people's papers or assignments.
• People who argue without significant background information about the subject being argued about.
• People who think airline food is tasty.
• People who think everybody can be manipulated.
• People who touch other people's stuff with their hands dirty or greasy.
• Britney fans.
• Show offs.
  
• People who like watching Dr. Phil.
• People who watch trash TV, those lame TV series included.
• People who think Grey's Anatomy is a television breakthrough.
• Those spoiled brats and bitches from Laguna Beach and The Hillz.
  
• People who think that having a sense of humor could kill them.
  
• People who think they are cool enough to write about their pet peeves on their blog.
  

This is just a small list. My dear readers, what are your pet peeves? Send in your contributions.

Diary of a stressed student, part 1

Ah, my favorite time of the year. Finals period. It's better than anything I know. Christmas is only once a year (unless you're me). Finals come twice.
Well, here I am, trying to study for my fall semester finals. I guess the term is called 'fall' for a reason. But I can't concentrate. I've been trying to study for 7 hours now, and have barely made any progress.


Instead of studying, I am trying to prove a theory: Amy Winhouse is a man! Really, have you seen her photos? Her recent ones are even more revealing. She is a man. All the evidence proves me wrong, L is too busy working on her paper. I am left alone, with my little theory.



I hate celebrity gossip. But this is how far I am willing to go out of the way of 'studying'.

Any tips on how I could concentrate would be really appreciated from my non-existant readers (unless someone actully reads this blog, which would disprove me. Why would anybody be reading this anyway?)

Must-see 2008 television

It is important to note that television plays an important part of our mundane lives. Well, your lives. I personally hate television and the crappy, brain bashing shows. Don't get me started on commercials and advertising or other forms of brainwash.
But Lebanese television stations are finally highering their standards kicking off the new year with must-see shows. Here are a few shows that will be premiering in 2008, and you don't want to miss them. They promise to be so interesting and mind numbing, that even I will sink into that couch and watch them. The Other Side has exclusive sneak peeks to share with you.


Project Runway

Ever since the Al-Manar television took the initiative to target a wider sphere of foreign and non-arab speaking audiences, the station noticeably undertook several steps to introduce English programs to its broadcast. Project Runway, the sensational addition to Al-Manar’s line-up, is expected to take audiences by storm. The famous hit television reality show, which was well received by audiences around the world, has a little new twist. Audiences will get to witness the contestants compete for the best Chador and Shar’ii swimwear designs, presenting them to a board of judges and Islamic fashion experts. Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, self-proclaimed Mahdi and Iranian President, will have a special guest appearance as a judge on the team.


Qoraytem Palace

Did you ever wonder what was happening behind the checkpoints, barb-wires, fences, high-tech alarm systems, and doors of Qoraytem Palace? This season, Future Television is taking reality TV to the next level. Get to experience the drama, the hardships and the fabulous life of the Hariri dynasty. Sit back and enjoy as the crew cameras follow Saad Hariri and his family going on with their life behind the walls of Qoraytem Palace. Future Television are even launching a twenty-four hour channel, so that Saad Hariri can be watched as he eats, sleeps, visits the bathroom, walks around aimlessly, poses for the paparazzi in his garden, and thinks (we think this last one is a hoax though, just to attract audiences).


The Motorcycle Diaries with Walid Jumblatt

The Discovery Channel in collaboration with Walid Jumblatt are giving you the show of the season. In an attempt to reminisce his fabulous youth, Walid Jumblatt will take us on a journey of a lifetime. With his helmet, leather jacket, and of course his good old friend Harley Davidson, Jumblatt will be riding around and looking for adventures in the mountains and valleys, cities and villages of Lebanon. Whether running away from the Syrian border, or being chased by an old woman who mistakenly thinks he’s “that bad guy from the Batman movie”, each episode promises to be filled with thrilling fun and escapades.


Intervention: Michel Aoun

A touching and heart-wrenching exposé, this season Otv lets you inside a family intervention you have never witnessed before. The ten episode mini-series/documentary follows Michel Aoun’s wife and kids, and even officials in his FPM, as they try to convince the basket-case, delusional egomaniac to admit himself into the infamous mental asylum Dair el-Salib (yet again). But as the drama unfolds, the audience will find that it would take a lot more than just convincing words to get him in there (and hopefully never out again). A show that will leave you crying and laughing at the same time: crying because you just feel sad for his sorry existence and his frightening delusions of grandeur, and laughing as he lashes off at the interveners (just as he lashes off at the press, but this time with a dirtier mouth and a couple of punches and black eyes), and as they try to tie him up with a jawbreaker in his mouth and shove him in the trunk of their car. Rare moments of Aoun in a straightjacket jerking about and cursing, as well as bitch-slapping Samir Geagea who points and laughs at him in the background are only a small part of what the show promises to be.


Meet the Geagea’s

Taking a break from the political ballyhoo in Lebanon, Samir and Sitrida Geagea decide to focus a bit more on their personal life, and decide to share it with the audiences of E! Entertainment channel. Get an inside look of what being married to an ex-serial murderer turned good (or so they say) is like, and get the rare chance to learn extraordinary lessons of life, love and marriage. With never before scenes of Samir fondling his wife and asking her who her daddy is, the show is speculated to stir up controversy and is expected to draw low ratings.


The Perfect President

The political vacuum shall be filled, promises the Lebanese Broadcasting Corporation (LBC). After the huge success of reality television shows like Star Academy (1 through 349, LBC promises to launch its 350th Star Academy season next Fall) and the Perfect Bride (where desperate young men try to find their ‘perfect bride’, if they can get through the mother in law) LBC announced a reality television show that will hit the ratings jackpot: The Perfect President. Twenty candidates, including political figures and Lebanese celebrities/escorts will be living with each other for the next five months as the Lebanese viewers vote off a person from the Presidential Palace each week. The last to stay will become Lebanon’s next president!
Some political analysts are already worried about the constitutional legitimacy of the show, but they are rest assured by the non existence of the so-called constitution.